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Post by auntieannie on May 6, 2014 23:20:56 GMT 2
Sorry to hear the Swan isn't being a friend at the mo, Iain.
In my experience, it's the illness that either frightens the friends away or makes them stick nearer to us. Or maybe he doesn't know how to behave with you adn therefore keeps to himself?
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Post by Big Iain on May 6, 2014 23:38:05 GMT 2
Either way he is not doing himself any good this year. I'm sure it's just a phase. The sad thing is that it actually doesn't bother me. Once anyone gets in to the departure lounge for friendships I see them in a totally different way and I just let things run their course.
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Post by outside cat @wino on May 8, 2014 4:51:55 GMT 2
I now ring a 'mate' once a week, amazing how it has invigorated me in terms of trying harder....
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Post by Voy on May 8, 2014 14:46:19 GMT 2
^ which is TRUE. that connecting with people is invigorating, but also that keeping friendships going does take "work" - IMHO work that is really really worth it!
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Post by trentt on May 17, 2014 2:16:28 GMT 2
I had beers & pub food with 3 old friends from work long ago, at the State, where I now work again. Two of them keep up with each other, but we other two have lost contact with all. We reminisced to the sky and laughed so much I ached. It was a really good experience and I hope we try to do it again.
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paddox
Happy Potters
Posts: 75
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Post by paddox on May 30, 2014 22:23:49 GMT 2
My really good friends at the moment are from uni and after uni, although I'm still good friends with school friends too. I'm sad in some ways, because I know that friendships will be changing with the spawning of children. I love the rug rats, but they do change things, especially for women.
I worry though, because I haven't really made any new friends in years. I've met lots of people and see them through other friends, but I'm aware that I need to work on this. I'm moving home and area in a few months and will have to get off my arse and meet people.
Trentt, my condolences. Sounds like you've had a hard time of things.
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Post by pizzawheel on May 31, 2014 13:42:46 GMT 2
Making friends is rough after a stage- I'd say 30 just to draw a line. I'm glad some of my interests are such globally social ones, motorbikes being the best. Everywhere I've been theres a group of bikers open to new people.
Kids change thing because parents tend to socialize through kids- it's a necessity. that probably leads to the singletons getting left out there, what do you think?
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Post by Voy on May 31, 2014 15:07:24 GMT 2
absolutely ^ -- and it doesn't change. even after they are grown and away, couples only think to socialize with other couples ( for dinners etc) -- this is why, as you mention above, having friends from a shared activity makes such a difference - in my case, re-enacting
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Post by missalaska on Jun 1, 2014 21:27:06 GMT 2
It isn't just the singletons, pizza, those who choose not to have kids are excluded or feel excluded because the conversation isn't relevant. I exited book club after 3 years of monthly updates about dear little Oceana and Cuthbert's day at school and how the domestic worker let the family down this week. Not one of the girls who was part of the club has contacted me about hanging out. And I haven't too because I just don't relate to their daily lives.
Husband and I always make a point of inviting single friends around for dinner and doing things with people as individuals even though they are part of a couple.
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Post by Voy on Jun 1, 2014 23:57:10 GMT 2
I hope Miss A's thinking spreads.. far and wide and fast!
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Post by trentt on Oct 18, 2014 14:36:28 GMT 2
I've made a point of revitalizing an old friendship recently. She was unemployed for over 2 years and when I was unemployed, I made it a point to visit her because we could commiserate. Now she has a job, but very low-paying, and she's sort of removed herself from the world. We'll go for drinks and a movie (Alfred Hitchcock on the big screen!) on Sunday.
It does take some effort. People my age tend to want to stay at home, me included. I have to force myself out of my neighborhood. But I think it's worth it.
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Post by auntieannie on Oct 18, 2014 16:09:01 GMT 2
ah, yes, this thread is stirring something in me. Now that I'm just getting back into living life rather than existing. but on a low budget, it is sometimes daunting. Hopefully, I'll get back in the swing of things soon.
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Post by trentt on Oct 18, 2014 16:40:01 GMT 2
There are so many free or cheap things you can do. This movie we're going to ("The Trouble With Harry") is free! They're showing it at the amphitheater in the university's art museum. I'm really looking forward to it.
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Post by Tilly Star on Oct 18, 2014 16:58:12 GMT 2
I have 2 friends that I've known since I was 7ish and we are very close. We see each other regularly, one looks after littlest Star 3 days when I work so I see her all the time. We are also part of a wider group of friends, men and women, we've been friends since our teens and are like an extended family, although an incestuous family on occasion. We've got people with kids, people without kids, couples and singles and it's not an issue really but rare we all get together at the same time except for weddings and sadly now too often, funerals.
In the summer we all actually managed to get together for a day to see Black Sabbath, it was one amazing day having us all together. Since my dearest friend died 2 yrs ago I make sure I tell them I love them because I know how lucky I am.
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Post by tzarine on Oct 23, 2014 0:47:47 GMT 2
i got back in touch w one of my childhood best friends how our lives diverged she married, had kids young, never finished uni (we had dreams of travelling europe after graduation), her grandchildren are tzarevich's age (her daughters also had children young. her husband died young. she joked she lives in an unfashionable part of town.
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Post by auntieannie on Oct 23, 2014 11:27:13 GMT 2
so, it seems at least some of my friends still want to be friends with me. yey!
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Post by Voy on Oct 23, 2014 15:13:26 GMT 2
of course they do ^! Keeping up friendships does take work.. but it's really worth it!
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Post by trentt on Oct 25, 2014 14:38:44 GMT 2
auntieannie - did I read somewhere you are out of work?
Whether or not, being jobless was a huge blow to friendships. What do you talk about? "Any luck finding jobs?" "NO. THANKS FOR ASKING." End of conversation. They don't want to bring up topics that involve spending any money. You don't want to talk about how miserable you are. Long silences ensue.
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Post by auntieannie on Oct 25, 2014 16:05:30 GMT 2
oh, trentt... my heart goes to you. I'm lucky that I'm just out of uni so people don't mind too much yet. hopefully I'll get sorted soon.
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Post by trentt on Oct 25, 2014 16:33:24 GMT 2
Thank you. I finally got a job. I've been doing it for a year. Good luck to you.
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Post by auntieannie on Oct 25, 2014 18:52:31 GMT 2
I know, but still...
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Post by trentt on Jan 9, 2019 3:48:09 GMT 2
This thread is so old, but I don't want to start a new one.
My disability claim was denied for the 3rd time. I am not "blind enough" to stop being in the workforce.
I have to figure out something new and unusual to survive.
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Post by shrjeff on Jan 9, 2019 4:02:09 GMT 2
damn, trentt... the ssa has become so terribly selective that getting recognized as disabled is, i hear, an impossible task... and rather than being able to perform one's usual job, the rule is now 'any' job... perhaps they could tell you what they think you are capable of doing...
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Post by lumi on Jan 9, 2019 9:11:56 GMT 2
Apply for a job with them! You obviously don't need to have good enough vision to read your claim in order to make a reasonable judgement given that they don't consider you blind enough.
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Post by trentt on Jan 9, 2019 10:30:09 GMT 2
The job categories mentioned by the vocational expert at my hearing in September were oil/gas extraction, a machine feeder, or a scrap sorter.
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Post by Netsuke on Jan 9, 2019 12:50:58 GMT 2
The job categories mentioned by the vocational expert at my hearing in September were oil/gas extraction, a machine feeder, or a scrap sorter. What would people in these fields actually DO? ETA: What is the percentage of blindness required for a DSP?
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Post by auntieannie on Jan 9, 2019 14:30:03 GMT 2
blimmin' bastards. they're the same all over. How frustrating.
I'm thinking you have lots of brain power and other positives to your side, trentt. I guess you've had time to think of creating a job for yourself?
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Post by Voy on Jan 9, 2019 17:01:53 GMT 2
bloody hell. and good luck - not said in a snarky way, but in all seriousness - because with that attitude by the ssa, you are going to need it. So here comes my attempt at sending it ! >>>>>>>>>>
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Post by tzarine on Jan 9, 2019 21:40:33 GMT 2
trentt
how frustrating! sending you massive luck
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Post by auntieannie on Jan 9, 2019 21:57:44 GMT 2
yes, here's a cargo ship's load of luck for you.
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