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Post by Baz Faz on Mar 25, 2014 0:21:58 GMT 2
It was November and dark. There was a knock at the door while I was preparing my supper. I opened the door and he said he was Jimmy McCarthy and did I remember him from school. I remembered the name but we were never great pals at school. I didn't recognise him of course - an early middle aged man is very different from a 14 year old.
One other reason why "They" might have been wanting to have a look at me. My cousin John had just been sacked from his job at the European Space Agency at Frankfurt in Germany. He spent a few days at our house and after dinner one night he said that ESA was sending a satellite up so let's see how it was going. On our telephone he rang the ESA in Germany and gave some sort of code and got patched through from Germany to Spain and to French Guyana where the launch had taken place. He had some chat with the people there. It was incredibly easy for someone with a bit of knowledge and jargon ("Give me Voice") to hack into the ESA system.
Maybe "They" took note of this and what telephone it came from.
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Post by auntieannie on Mar 25, 2014 0:46:25 GMT 2
hhmmm...deja vu moment... mmmhhmmm ;-P
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Post by trentt on Mar 25, 2014 1:20:51 GMT 2
Baz Faz - that's quite an odd story, and a bit chilling.
OnlYMark's is even odder.
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Post by happytraveller on Mar 25, 2014 12:25:25 GMT 2
OnlYMark's is even odder. The first or the second one ?
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Post by trentt on Mar 25, 2014 23:07:34 GMT 2
Second one.
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Post by Scrubb on Mar 28, 2014 15:31:38 GMT 2
You started an interesting discussion, Trentt.
The people I consider my closest friends are all people I met in university. We were a very close group who did everything together for many years. I've shared houses with a few of them, and I've travelled with a few of them, and I think that our link will never disappear completely.
Mr_Scrubb is not very sociable at all. He has not made arrangements for us to socialize with anyone for more than a year, probably 2 years, the last time his close friend was in town. And when I make arrangements, he doesn't usually come along. And I have got into the very bad habit of hardly ever making social plans and just doing things with him all the time. I only see my friends a few times/year, for the most part - some of them only once/year!
It's becoming clear to me that even my oldest friendships do require nurturing. In the past 2 years, 2 of my oldest friends and I have started going out for drinks once every couple of months. (Well, it often turns out to be a few months in between... but we've got together about 6 times, anyway.) It's been really positive to catch up that way, to reconnect. But I need to see other people, too. I am naturally sociable and even though I have got quite used to not socializing, it's not natural for me and I don't think it's "healthy" for me. But because I am away from home half the time for my job, I feel like my "at home" time belongs to Mr_S. But that isn't good for me - I need to have a more normal social life. It's just hard to do.
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Post by ninchursanga on Mar 29, 2014 1:02:12 GMT 2
BazFaz storries are a bit strange. I wonder, did you talk with them about your school times? Recall stories about class mates and teachers that made you feel they actually were your old friends and not some imposers from the secret service who were "checking on you"?
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Post by grumpy on Mar 29, 2014 16:59:38 GMT 2
Baz needs to stop answering the door.
I find that it doesn't matter too much if I don't see my secondary schoolfriends for a few months, somehow we're all loosely in touch and it never feels like we've lost anything of our closeness from having less contact at different times. Some other friends maybe have drifted away over time, but while I have people who I see every few weeks or so, I guess most people it's more like twice a year.
I tend to make casual friends easily who then wander on, but closer new friends in recent years are only people I've worked with. Lots of old work colleagues who I see rarely, though again it seems the web of connections means they are never far. One works in my building right now and it's lovely to have moments to catch up. We discussed this week though how the closest friends seem to be from when we were much younger. I guess when I leave this contract in a few months that I'll be leaving acquaintances, some maybe I'll be in touch with a little, but I won't be leaving any friends. It's weird and makes me feel a little sad. They're all nice people, but I just don't feel like I make a personal connection.
I didn't made friends from YC either, only passing acquaintances. Oh wait, one, but he worked for me so it doesn't count the same way. Still, maybe I should wonder why I don't seem able to make real friends any more.
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Post by pizzawheel on Mar 30, 2014 0:14:09 GMT 2
It certainly gets more difficult ad you get older- like there's a perception that everyone should be pre-packaged with their friends by this stage.
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Post by Scrubb on Mar 31, 2014 22:53:55 GMT 2
I'm not all that concerned about making new friends, though of course it's nice when it happens, but with keeping my old friends!
I do find it's much harder to make new friends when married than it was when single, though that might just be Mr_S's lack of sociability. There are some really great people at work who I like a lot, and have been invited to do stuff with - but Mr_S isn't interested in spending time with people he doesn't know. I dragged him to brunch last year over Xmas with a group of work people who I genuinely really like, but he didn't really enjoy it and won't want to do it again.
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Post by Knarf on Apr 1, 2014 2:42:38 GMT 2
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Post by shrjeff on Apr 1, 2014 3:33:10 GMT 2
hey frankie, speaking of old friends, whereyabin?
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Post by Knarf on Apr 1, 2014 3:47:45 GMT 2
Around and about. I sort of almost overcame my internet addiction for a while this summer but autumn is upon us ...
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Post by pizzawheel on Apr 1, 2014 21:41:23 GMT 2
Around and about. I sort of almost overcame my internet addiction for a while this summer but autumn is upon us ... These things are academic in Victoria, surely. Summer all year round. Growls at ice outside.
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Post by Knarf on Apr 2, 2014 7:52:26 GMT 2
Well it was 22C at midnight last night, but the days are getting shorter and DST ends next weekend. And within about 6 weeks I will have to start lighting fires.
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Post by pizzawheel on Apr 3, 2014 0:14:17 GMT 2
I weep for you Frank. Not.
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 3, 2014 0:16:20 GMT 2
Just about all of my close women friends have died for some reason, generally around age 50. I thought women were supposed to last longer.
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Post by savoury on Apr 4, 2014 23:11:24 GMT 2
Time passes and people change. I don't have many friends. I think being a single woman is harder than being a single man, somehow. I am looked upon as "dangerous" though I'm not. A male friend commented that with single men..they are just single..love them or leave them but women, esp amougst married/defacto couples could be potential dangerous.
My friends today are all from the internet/fb. Those that have dropped out of fb or not often on..I have little contact. Relatives are the worse! You can pick your friends but not your relatives - you are stuck with them!
I am my own best friend...sad but true.
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Post by rikita on May 5, 2014 9:03:34 GMT 2
i am another one with not that many friends, though i think i make friends easily - but i also lose contact with them easily. as for friends from school, there is only one i am still occasionally in touch with, and that is mainly because she is friends with my brother. she lives in another town, but when she comes here to visit, we sometimes meet up. also only in touch with one university friend ... i have some people i count as good friends and who i know from back when i was in school or university, but who i see very rarely because they live in other countries (and i met them on exchange programmes or similar occasions) ... and of course some internet friends i have known for quite a while ... but most friends who live nearer by, i have somehow lost contact with ...
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Post by kerouac2 on May 5, 2014 20:15:50 GMT 2
What I find quite odd is that 4 of my close women friends have died in the last decade, always prematurely since it was between the ages of 45 and 55, but absolutely none of my close male friends has died. Since women live longer than men in general, the only explanation that I can imagine is that my female friends have often been pushing-the-envelope sorts who refuse to respect the "rules" that women are expected to follow. Apparently there is a heavy price to pay for this.
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Post by auntieannie on May 5, 2014 21:09:06 GMT 2
Are you trying to say women should go back to the dark ages, Kerouac? And what about Jeanne Calment, then?
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Post by Scrubb on May 5, 2014 21:45:21 GMT 2
I genuinely have no idea what "rules" Kerouac is talking about that women are expected to follow. ??
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Post by tinier_dragon on May 5, 2014 21:53:35 GMT 2
me neither. ergo i have no idea if i have been following them. and i am -- ulp -- 45....
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Post by auntieannie on May 5, 2014 22:52:27 GMT 2
I'm right behind you, dragonette. we'll fight the demons together.
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Post by mapletree3 on May 6, 2014 0:51:19 GMT 2
I missed the rules entirely and I'm well past 55.
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Post by Gobsie on May 6, 2014 9:15:17 GMT 2
I had friends, my husband died, I went into mourning, my friends soon got tired of my grief and drifted out my life. My BFF of 30 years has stuck around and my not so imaginary Potter friends have stuck by me, but they are a bit far away. Life gets lonely and it is hard to make friends as you get older.
Looking forward to a very lonely old age, will have to learn to knit or maybe become a ventriloquist then I will have some intelligent conversation around
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Post by auntieannie on May 6, 2014 10:57:06 GMT 2
haha! go join a "stitch and bitch" group! (polite version is "knit and natter") it's very fashionable at the moment and basically we meet in public all over the world. It can also be a bit political/feminist. stitchnbitch.org/
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Post by savoury on May 6, 2014 12:00:29 GMT 2
Time passes and people change..and so have I. My contacts/friends are on fb...some from TT. One old classmate as well. An ex boyfriend..thanks to fb or I would not have found these people. I skype regularly to a new found long distance fella but I doubt it will last..good for the time being though..
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Post by savoury on May 6, 2014 12:22:24 GMT 2
I also miss not having the piss ups that were on TT. It gives you a chance to make new friends. Great to make new friends though they may fade after sometime..or stay in touch via fb/email.
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Post by Big Iain on May 6, 2014 22:53:20 GMT 2
I don't really miss any of the many friends I've lost touch with down the years. I've stayed closely friendly with only a handful of people through the years. I'm guessing that they'll always be there. Sadly, my oldest and most trusted friend has a terminal illness so I guess I'll be losing touch with him soon.
I am very, very close to dropping The Swan at the moment. He has been my best friend for the last ten years or so but hasn't been that good a friend since CLB took I'll. I'm not sure why and I'm not dwelling on it. I've always had a level of expectation in that I expect my close friends to act like...well...friends.
To try and add to the discussion... I've noticed that I've traded in (lost touch with) friends but gained family and step-kids. Maybe that explains why so many of us lose friends and find ourselves having time to ourselves? I'm steeling myself to be a sad, alone old man but I'm happy with the choices I've made in life that have cast me circles of friends.
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