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Post by Farsibella on Sept 20, 2009 21:29:00 GMT 2
So this is how it goes. I finish having lunch and mother comes and sits in the kitchen with a load of papers, as usual, to be annoying as usual. First typical question: She: Are you going out later? Me: No. (I mean, I just came in and it is Sunday, and she knows I nap on sundays, but this is the typical question when she needs something bought and instead of saying "I need this", she goes, are going out, in which direction, oh... cause... oh... and maybe, if you are lucky, 15 minutes later she tells you she needs someehting). Then the papers (all prescritions). She: Can I only buy meds in the Gallo Pharmacy? Me: You know you can buy them at any pharmacy. She starts going through the prescripctions telling me every single detail on them (like I care!! And we talked about them 2 days ago and she said she has meds for 18 days anyway). Me: So, you have to tell me something or not?? She looks at me and touches my tummy and there I went ballistic: Me: DON'T TOUCH ME!! (I hate being touched). So she gets mad and I leave. Two hours later (now), I get up from my nap and I find a note from her in the kitchen, it goes as follows: WHAT DID I TOUCH? WHAT? WHAT MADNESS DID YOU CURE YOURSELF OF, CAN YOU TELL ME? YOU CAN STICK YOUR BAD MOOD UP YOUR ASS. AND I NEVER EATING AGAIN WITH YOU!!!! I have never insulted, and the "madness" thing was taking things a bit too far, considering... I feel bad, sad, and your agh!!  |
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Post by Gyro on Sept 20, 2009 22:19:51 GMT 2
She has mental health issues. You REALLY want an analysis from us mock cod psychologists ?
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Post by kerouac2 on Sept 20, 2009 22:42:41 GMT 2
Frankly, I do not think that anyone here is qualifed to give advice on this subject.
Do you have Asperger's? (I am wondering because of the not being touched detail.)
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Post by Farsibella on Sept 20, 2009 22:57:30 GMT 2
I don't know what Asperger is.
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Post by Farsibella on Sept 20, 2009 23:01:43 GMT 2
I read it, you must have confused the disease, cause I am certainly not autistic, but hey, thanks anyway.
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Post by welle on Sept 20, 2009 23:16:20 GMT 2
Sounds like both of you are wound up a bit, as in tensions are high and then erupt like this.
Hard as it is, next time she starts like that, just say 'no, I'm not going out-I am naking a nap now' and go to your room and shut the door. Then nap.
I would try to let go of things as quickly as possible, on both of your parts. It's not ok to yell at your mom because she touched you (though I understand...). And your mom in turn overreacted. Time to take a deep breath on everyone's part. My 2 cents.
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Post by writeon on Sept 21, 2009 0:19:05 GMT 2
I know how irritating it is when old people insist on telling you the same old stories again and again (and in minute detail)...I can't bear it. Even if you say 'You've told me that before, you know' they don't miss a beat and they go on and on with the same story.
So, of course she put your back up when she started telling you about the meds.
I don't understand why she would touch your tummy.
Did she eat with you today? (she said she wouldn't)....
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Post by Farsibella on Sept 21, 2009 0:24:34 GMT 2
We still haven't had dinner.
She is just annoying, she has problems with everyone in the family over the same issues:
Talking talking talking.
Taking 25 minutes to say something you can say in two (she goes round and round).
Touching.
I practice BJJ it's not like I have body issues, FFS, I get touched all the time, it is just that I hate it that she is taking to you and she touches your tummy, your waist, I just don't like it. My sis doesn't either and my dad doesn't either.
Anyway, I am more worried now about my fridge not working but the lamp doesn't seem to have problems :/
She cleaned it the other day, I hope she didn't eff it up.
Though if it was a problem, the termic should have shut off and it didn't. I don't know. I'll buy another lamp tomorrow and hope it is that, I couldn't find a 15 W lamp now.
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Post by writeon on Sept 21, 2009 1:04:41 GMT 2
I admit that I wouldn't like people suddenly touching me for no reason. This doesn't mean that I don't like affectionate touching, arm around the shoulder, hugging etc. Just being touched for no reason would freak me out.
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Post by siduri on Sept 21, 2009 2:58:30 GMT 2
what welle said in #5.
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Post by default on Sept 21, 2009 7:10:30 GMT 2
You bother over reacted. I would freak if you kids yelled at me for touching them. And I'm the one who talks forever to explain something so I feel her pain.
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Post by WildlyTravelled on Sept 21, 2009 8:25:20 GMT 2
farsigirl - I think you mum is deliberately psychologically abusive
the touching is creepy when it's inappropriate and as you said, it isn't just you that doesn't like it
yelling seems like a natural reaction to protect yourself
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Post by Farsibella on Sept 21, 2009 14:49:33 GMT 2
I'll tell you what I did, cause I didn't get more replies from you last night.
I cooked as usual (one hell of a good pork roast with sweet and sour sauce, sweet potatoes).
And then coolly said "Are you having dinner?".
And she just came to dinner.
So I broke the ice with a "Here is the number for the fridge, you gotta call tomorrow cause it doesn't work".
Then bla bla we chatted about unimportant stuff.
After dinner, I gave th fridge another shot, and it worked, thank God.
And that is that.
I just let it slide. Cause we were both wrong as you said.
She is toxic, but it's what I've got.
And honestly, 99% percent of the time, I react coolly to everything, but this time, I had had enough, too much stress lately, and it had to blow...
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Post by welle on Sept 21, 2009 20:43:57 GMT 2
Well done.
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Post by missalaska on Sept 21, 2009 22:16:30 GMT 2
Sometimes you do have to blow, but well done for being the one with the peace offering.
The dinner sounded lovely and I don't eat meat!
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