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Post by Netsuke on Jul 21, 2023 3:40:43 GMT 2
Do you like limericks? I do, in fact, I love them. Only five lines, they are funny , some hilarious, and rollicking good fun. Writing your own isn’t always easy either.
There are two kinds of limerick - laundered and unlaundered. I’m a devotee of the unlaundered variety myself - they’re usually the funniest!
Which type are you?
Share your favourite limericks here. I’ll start with one I wrote….
There was a young lady called Voy,
Who wanted to find a toyboy,
The lobster was fishy
The pool boy was dishy
And now she’s elated with joy.
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Post by Voy on Jul 21, 2023 14:51:38 GMT 2
I LOVE it !! well done Netskie ( and so glad you didn't start out "there was an old lady....")
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Post by Voy on Jul 21, 2023 14:54:07 GMT 2
an ancient one - and I can't remember the middle lines, but it doesn't really matter - )
There once was a Turkish Cadet
who's prick was the biggest one yet
----
-----
And skewered 3 lambs en brochette.
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Post by Netsuke on Jul 22, 2023 8:49:10 GMT 2
Voy, all the people in my limericks are young, except if they are not!
I like your Turkish cadet!
Two fairies were flitting one day,
In the meadow where they liked to play.
When the male made a pass,
At the other (a lass),
Showing not quite all fairies are gay.
There's a Lobster I thought I knew well
Who has really come out of his shell,
He was legless and bare
at the mid-summer fare
And was shaking his bits like a bell.
There was a young fellow called Lancelot,
Whom mothers all looked on askance a lot,
Whenever he’d pass
A presentable lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot.
.
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Post by Voy on Jul 22, 2023 14:43:48 GMT 2
There was a fair Potter called Net-sookie
Who some thought a little bit kookie
She'd travelled and got the idea
that good TV's from Korea
Which she scans for a star for some nookie.
(running for the hills ...)
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Post by auntieannie on Jul 22, 2023 15:27:33 GMT 2
loving the banter...
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Post by Voy on Jul 23, 2023 20:36:18 GMT 2
There is a young Swissie called Annie
Her friend Voy could serve as her Granny
Annie's taught about herbs
Voy had fled from "the burbs"
Their close friendship is almost uncanny !
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Post by auntieannie on Jul 23, 2023 21:42:20 GMT 2
hahaha!
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Post by Netsuke on Jul 25, 2023 12:53:03 GMT 2
Netsuke, Annie and Voy,
Wanted to emulate Helen of Troy,
They were lusty young virgins
With a great many urgins
For Menelaus, Paris and the young drummer boy.
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Post by auntieannie on Jul 25, 2023 16:16:49 GMT 2
Annie got a message from Troy
loaded horse ahoy
the message was trashed
and she did not fash
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Post by Baz Faz on Jul 25, 2023 19:13:26 GMT 2
Annie got a message from Troy loaded horse ahoy the message was trashed and she did not fash She was wordless because of a boy |
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Post by Voy on Jul 25, 2023 21:00:50 GMT 2
There once was a cartoon Swedish cook
Who was natty with bowtie and too-que
He had lost a few toes
Which gave him some woes
But had no effect on his book
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Post by Voy on Jul 26, 2023 15:17:02 GMT 2
In Spain there once was a Potter in called Slow
But his wife on a wheel the pots did throw
Their village is mostly asleep
So safe for his wandering sheep
But one day in the month super-mer-cad-O !
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Post by slowcoach on Jul 26, 2023 17:23:55 GMT 2
 Once a month! Not so fast, that would be far too often. |
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Post by Voy on Jul 26, 2023 17:31:51 GMT 2
ok... "only bi-monthly - super-mer-cadO" ...??
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Post by Baz Faz on Jul 27, 2023 18:26:55 GMT 2
Voy chose to winter in Florida
Because snowstorms in Maine were much horrider.
Come spring she'd head north
Where men are down-to-earth
And she'd laze by the lake in her Wonderbra.
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Post by Netsuke on Jul 28, 2023 15:46:59 GMT 2
There was a young gourmand called Perkins
Who was exceedingly fond of young gherkins,
One evening at tea
He ate twenty three,
And pickled his internal workins’.
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Post by lumi on Jul 28, 2023 16:16:40 GMT 2
These are hilarious!! You're all far more talented than I am.
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Post by Netsuke on Jul 31, 2023 8:03:20 GMT 2
A lovely young lassie called Lumi
Said if you don’t like it then sue me,
She ordered a chicken
Said there’s no meat for licken
I can see up the parson’s nose to me!
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Post by Netsuke on Aug 7, 2023 8:47:07 GMT 2
There was a young girl with a phone
Who wanted to be all alone,
She said it’s not fake
It came out from the lake
Pulled out by an ugly old crone,
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Post by slowcoach on Aug 7, 2023 14:14:33 GMT 2
ok... "only bi-monthly - super-mer-cadO" ...?? Mostly so, you can have to much of a good thing,especially shopping We have two fridges, which helps and a freezer that doesn't much. What do people put in their freezers, if the answer involves dead animals and ice cream it would explain a lot. The week after our last expedition, the wife had a hospital appointment which is even further and much less predictable so the dogs couldn't come. BTB why would the signage in a hospital have such small lettering, especially for Ophthalmology. Sigh! . |
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Post by Netsuke on Aug 7, 2023 16:45:36 GMT 2
If you put live animals in, you’d be up before the RSPCA.
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Post by Netsuke on Nov 14, 2023 17:55:30 GMT 2
There was a baker from Hemel Hempstead
Whose loaves were the best you have tasted
But what people don’t know
Was LSD in the dough
After eating his bread they'd be wasted!
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Post by Baz Faz on Nov 14, 2023 19:08:59 GMT 2
There was a baker from Hemel Hempstead Whose loaves were the best you have tasted But what people don’t know Was LSD in the dough After eating his bread they'd be wasted! I lived 26 years down the road from Hemel Hempstead. This explains a lot. |
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Post by Voy on Nov 14, 2023 23:11:30 GMT 2
Baz -- where ?? My godmother lived in Leverstock Green !
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Post by Netsuke on Nov 20, 2023 13:42:08 GMT 2
A lass from Leverstock Green
Had the biggest backside I have seen
When she……..
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Post by Baz Faz on Nov 20, 2023 14:07:56 GMT 2
Baz -- where ?? My godmother lived in Leverstock Green ! I lived in Kings Langley for 26 years, the last house in Harthall Lane before the woods. |
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Post by Voy on Nov 20, 2023 15:31:14 GMT 2
Did you ever go to garden-opens? hers was always on the local one, Westwick Cottage. But I have just realized I can't remember the name of the lane - I knew it so well all I have in my old address books is her name and phone number... as you came off the motorway from London, heading to Hemel, it was down the first lane on the left - ... argggh this old age stuff.
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