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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 16, 2017 14:26:41 GMT 2
The plan is we go to Sicily next week for our annual winter escape-the-blues travel to sunnier climes. Flight to Catania, apartment in Siracusa for a month, plus inother places in southeast Sicily - altogether 9 places booked. We shall have our normal backpacks. No problem.
But now my daughter's husband is approaching the end with his struggle with cancer. So tomorrow we are driving to Brighton to visit him and be a support in the household. So we are packing clothes for Brighton.
And today Mrs Faz pointed out we ought to take suitable clothes for a funeral. So another bag will have to be packed.
Life is chaos.
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Post by Voy on Jan 16, 2017 16:31:58 GMT 2
breathhhhhe breathhhhhe sloooooly. innnnnnn outtttttt. relaxxxxxx.
you can do it Baz!
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Post by kuskiwi on Jan 16, 2017 19:28:53 GMT 2
Not a good start to a holiday. Follow Voy's instructions.
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Post by auntieannie on Jan 16, 2017 23:03:06 GMT 2
hoping for the best for the two of you. Remember to take extra care of both your lovely selves first and foremost.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 17, 2017 0:30:25 GMT 2
We don't know if we'll get to fly to Sicily next week. We hope so. But maybe we have to fly back if son-in-law dies. Meanwhile in Brighton in the coming days we know what we have to do. Most importantly is to give support to my daughter. Then Mrs Faz has to rally round the kids and keep visitors in order. My duty is to cook.
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Post by auntieannie on Jan 17, 2017 12:47:19 GMT 2
She will be so grateful after all is said and done.
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Post by kuskiwi on Jan 18, 2017 8:35:53 GMT 2
You will both do your allotted tasks with understanding and non intrusive love and care. My sympathy in a very difficult situation.
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Post by Netsuke on Jan 18, 2017 10:36:05 GMT 2
Oh heck, it's a bugger alright. Do what you can lend support and hope your trip can go ahead. Are you able to postpone and defer your flights and accommodation? Whatever I say sounds like it's coming out wrong.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 18, 2017 16:51:40 GMT 2
Netsuke, the flight is non-changeable. I think the apartment we have rented in Siracusa for a month can be switched to another date. Then I have booked other guesthouses for 2 night stays in towns I want to see - some I lose if we change, others I can rebook at a penalty.
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Post by auntieannie on Jan 19, 2017 11:15:15 GMT 2
Thinking of you all.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 19, 2017 11:26:27 GMT 2
We have done a lot at my daughter's house. Mrs Faz has been cleaning the house (and my ex's granny flat). The dirt was worthy of a student's room. I have been sorting a mountain of paper work into piles for later winnowing: medical, theatre, financial, and so on. I discovered 2 investments he has plus an insurance policy bizarrely on the life of the 12 year old grandson. We are off to see him shortly.
Tomorrow we are having a 2 night break at Mrs Faz's sister, back here on Sunday.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 19, 2017 15:48:26 GMT 2
Mrs Faz and I saw my son-in-law in hospital this morning. Obviously he looks dreadful. He was asleep when we arrived but woke up and chatted. He was very alert and no problem at all with the sharpness of his mind.
The palliative care man arrived and it was all right that we stayed. The session lasted about an hour and a half. They really want Chris to move into a hospice. He does accept that he is near the end of his life but then backtracks. By and large it was a worthwhile session and he has agreed his name could go on the waiting list. I said he could always take his name off the waiting list - or even sell his place to someone else. At least that got a wry smile for a bit.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 22, 2017 17:48:55 GMT 2
We have just had a couple of blissful days away from the chaos of Brighton. Now it is back and Mrs Faz is already at work on the latest chaos. She also taught my daughter a new mantra: Don't put it down, put it away. My daughter has forgotten it already. So I have been loading the dishwasher with dirty things lying about and setting it running, putting lids on jars, moving stuff from the already tiny work surface.
There were good things and bad things about the 48 hours with Mrs Faz's sister. The good things were that she had bought in all the food ready cooked so that was taken care of, and the house was clean and tidy. The bad things were that the central heating was broken and the weather was freezing (10C in our bedroom this morning). Also the internet is barely functioning. After 15 minutes you might get a connection but it would only last for seconds. This coming week both problems will be fixed but for now...
My daughter is at the hospital at this very moment. We still hope to get away (at least to the hotel at Gatwick airport) tomorrow, and fly on Tuesday morning. Alas, the weather doesn't look good in Sicily at present.
Normally before we go away for our winter travels we are excited. Now we are full of trepidation. My daughter has a cousin living in Brighton, uncles nor far away in London and a huge gang of friends. But she seems dependent on us to do things. Of course it is a time of emotional turmoil for her but - extraordinary to say - she is already planning her life after her husband has died.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 22, 2017 19:29:19 GMT 2
It is not looking good for our son-in-law. He is a theatre man (director, writer). My daughter is an actress. Drama is never far from being thrust on us. My daughter has said: We have reached Act 5.
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 22, 2017 23:27:25 GMT 2
Loads of tributes have been coming in. Just read a lovely email from Simon Callow. It is almost as if he is dead. Not yet but very soon. We have been sleeping in friends' flat about 10 minutes walk away but my daughter wants us here tonight, sleeping on the sofa in case she has to dash to the hospital.
What we do is uncertain. Mrs Faz wants me to go to Sicily on my own and she would stay and look after the kids for a few days and join me. When I say I should stay here with her and the family she says I will hate it (as I do now) and that would be an extra worry for her. If I do stay then we could be trapped into staying longer. If I went (so tell myself) then she could say she has to leave and join me sooner.
Decisions, decisions.
Perhaps I should run a poll: What should the Fazes do?
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Post by Baz Faz on Jan 24, 2017 0:26:01 GMT 2
Our son-in-law died today at 1.15 pm. Mrs Faz and I were at the hospital in his room - but I had left to go in the visitors' room to eat a sandwich. Ten minutes later Mrs Faz came in to tell me he had died. His breathing had been rasping terribly and then it just stopped. No pain, no anguish.
His deteriorating was rapid at the end. Mrs Faz and I have had many talks about what we should do when he died. She was insistent that I should continue to Sicily, return for the funeral, and then we would go to Sicily for what was left of our holiday. I am not so sure but she said: GO. So I am in the Premier Inn at Gatwick airport now and will catch the flight tomorrow.
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Post by sophie on Jan 24, 2017 1:00:39 GMT 2
Sorry to hear this. Tough time for your family. Condolences.
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Post by auntieannie on Jan 24, 2017 1:03:33 GMT 2
My condoleances, Fazes. glad things were sorted and especially that there was seemingly only little suffering.
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Post by Netsuke on Jan 24, 2017 3:05:51 GMT 2
Sorry to hear this. My condolences to the Faz family.
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Post by kuskiwi on Jan 24, 2017 5:25:15 GMT 2
Condolences and may all the good memories help you through this time.
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Post by Voy on Jan 24, 2017 18:00:36 GMT 2
what they have said. and I agree with the family decisions. safe jurney
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Post by rikita on Jan 25, 2017 2:32:09 GMT 2
condolences to you and your family ...
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Post by tiltedflipcurves on Jan 28, 2017 3:14:33 GMT 2
I'm late to the condolences, but here they are anyway. Hope you're getting some solace in Sicily.
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Post by wikki on Jan 31, 2017 11:43:15 GMT 2
My condolences.
I hope you can find some calmness in Sicily and later on your wife too.
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