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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:11:59 GMT 2
It's quite simple. If you don't like elephants, move on to something else. I like them and could watch them all day. Big, calm, intimidating, social, intelligent, perfectly adapted, all encased in what looks like two hundred year old skin. Besides, some of those characteristics fit me as well, especially the skin thing. This time away I just seemed to bump into them all around the camp I went to and close by. There was no getting away from them and as they are big enough to do whatever they want, I thought why not focus on them this time rather than trying to find the elusive cats or other game. They were there, so elephants it was. I don't know them well enough to identify every single one so I'm sure there is some repetition over the days, but we've never been introduced and I probably couldn't remember their names anyway. I'm terrible like that. Faces I'm ok with, names not.
First though I had to leave Lusaka. The journey to the park, South Luangwa, is around 700km and on Zambian roads, that takes a little time, to put it mildly. Most of the route, along the Great East Road, has recently been upgraded with funding from the EU, but constant stop starting and slowing down through villages adds to the time. Not only that, but the Police have recently had a splurge with stopping cars for speeding. It makes a lot of money for someone and due to the poor speed limit signage; it is easy to catch people.
Speed limit signs are few and far between. There may be one entering a village but none on the other side, or vice versa, or none at all. Plus there is a recent new regulation that means that even though there may be a speed limit sign, the regulation possibly overrules it. Weird and confusing, but I know there is (as shown in a previous report) a 120km/h limit on some of the road. However, I am hearing of people who have been stopped for doing 110km/h because the regulation states the maximum speed will be enforced at 100km/h. Plus, half the time and with half the road laws, the Police simply are wrong in what they believe. Either wrong on purpose, or by lack of knowledge. One example is concerning filter lights on traffic lights.
If you want to turn right (we drive on the left side here if you didn't know), you may come to a cross roads junction and as usual, stop on red. Then a right filter light can come on, on green, so you have priority to turn across the road to do so. However, the question is, after the filter light goes off (and there is no red light on that filter), and the green light comes on as normal for your carriageway, are you still legally allowed to turn right (if there is a safe break in the traffic coming towards you)? The Police say no, you must wait for the filter light to come on again and are fining people for doing so. Me, being how I am, am driving around Lusaka trying to turn right at every traffic light with a filter when the light is off and the normal green is on hoping to be stopped – whilst also carrying with me a copy of the relevant Zambian road traffic law allowing you to do so that I've printed off from the Zambian Government website. I enjoy being difficult sometimes.
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:13:16 GMT 2
On the way to the park I tend to leave mid-morning and stop off halfway, then continue the next day. Returning I do it in one hit. I did get stopped for speeding by the way, whilst going. Apparently I was doing 70km/h in a 60km/h limit. An instant K300 fine (roughly $30 usd) but I had several issues, as always, with this. Not only the aforementioned lack of signs, but the fact that I was closely following a truck and the radar gun they were using I am sure wasn't able to track my speed, only the truck's. Plus they never show you on the gun the speed and they were probably guessing mine therefore, never mind the fact that I'd want to know (in court if necessary) when the device was last calibrated, when the officer using it was trained, if at all, in its use etc etc.
But, before I either relent and just give in and pay the fine, or bring out the arguments, wanting evidence, start taking my own situation photos, backtracking to see what signs there were/were not, using my own dash cam footage and so on, I play the confused and simple foreigner, very apologetic, smiley and affable (I've even blamed my daughters for being in a bad mood and/or Mrs M for shouting at me), remorseful and respecting their authority, saying how stupid I was......... and see how it goes.
If I am absolutely certain I am in the right, I will deny and argue, as I have done previously on some posted dash cam footage regarding going through a red light. However, the very last thing I will do to try and influence them, unless outright asked for it, is to whip out the diplomatic ID I have. I feel an imposter for being given it and don't in my eyes, deserve it. I make no mention of it, make no fuss over it and if produced, will say nothing but leave it for them to decide what importance it may or may not have. This time, the very attractive female Police officer must have been taken in by my pathetic state, and possible handsomeness, I'm sure that was a factor, and told me to depart, unpunished, with my tail between my legs.
So I did.
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:14:42 GMT 2
As usual I digress somewhat, but as I said, I left mid-morning but had to nip to the supermarket first to obtain essential survival supplies. I already had plenty of water so the next on the list, in order of importance was, as ever usual, salt and vinegar Pringles, Cadbury's chocolate, a bag of boiled sweets, a meat pie and/or samosas, and a few granny smith's (to make me feel I do have something remotely healthy). In the car park was a large marquee set up for a Zambian telecoms firm that was promoting the opening of a new money paying scheme by mobile phone. I pulled up just as the entertainment was starting – Now, I'm not quite sure how "traditional" some of this was as I'm sure I saw some moves that I've seen in "traditional" Zulu dance (though there is a common historical link with Bantu tribes), but, and I apologise because I was facing the sun to get a better view, but this is what it looked like –
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:17:11 GMT 2
I set off and drove half days for the next two days, partly along nice new roads like this - Scenery varied between tacking through hills to flat straight stretches. At times reminiscent of parts of Zimbabwe with granite boulders strewn around – Eventually you come off a low set of hills and reach the Luangwa plain – Greeting me on the drive approaching the camp the elephants made their appearance – Notice the 'weeping' from the side of the head? This is from a gland and is quite normal. When it is quite bad you can see the side of the head is all wet and even the fluid runs into the mouth. Males have this and it is the gland usually activated when the animal wants to mate. That time is called when they are in "musth". They become unpredictable and violent and are to be avoided at all costs. Usually when you hear of a human being killed it is when the animal is in musth. "Musth is linked to sexual arousal or establishing dominance, but this relationship is far from clear." (Wikipedia) However, this has only begun to weep and as one of the owners of the camp is a zoologist, I always ask her about these matters. She mentions she has noticed a lot of weeping, none though extreme, that only seems to indicate the elephant is emotional, rather than linked to sex. Could be it is happy, or sad, or whatever. After all, they are extremely intelligent and have been observed to have emotions, use tools etc –
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:18:53 GMT 2
The camp itself is one I've used before – After arrival I noticed very fresh poop. Elephant poop and no more than an hour or two old – Very close to my tent, in the background – Also the remnants of a crushed snake. I'm not sure but I think this one is non-poisonous anyway. Maybe the elephants trod on it – The view from my bed, obscured by the netting for sure, but only when the sun is low. Otherwise I can see the hippos in the river –
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:20:05 GMT 2
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:21:44 GMT 2
I thought I ought to take a few shots of the river as well. Whilst I was here, like - A family of these came a calling. Look like a cross between a ferret and a meerkat, and had stripes. They were very nervous of me and would, like a meerkat, jump up onto their hind legs to look at me. Then run away. Very funny they were and I spent quite a time trying to catch them out by taking a photo. But they always knew I was there and never let me creep up on them. Banded mongoose I believe – The sun began to set. It seems to do it every day – So after dinner I sat by the fire. Only every evening, to shoot up again because the hippos had decided to come ashore to feed. Or should it be "abank"? Just as I was having a quiet moment to myself. Couldn't get them on camera though as flash photography is a no-no. You'll just have to take my word for it -
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:23:01 GMT 2
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:24:18 GMT 2
Nearby was a table with a couple of reasonably elderly American women. I took the following two photos, unbeknownst to me, he was plotting his attack – He'd noticed one of the women was handed a blue plastic bag by one of the staff, presumably containing their packed lunch. She placed it within easy reach on the table. I saw him look. The king boss man waited while they were distracted, calmly began to walk towards the women but at an angle to pass by them a few metres to the side. I was watching him. He was watching the bag. His head came down a little and I shouted to the women to watch out for him. He veered to the left, took two bounding strides towards them and grabbed the bag. One woman, the closest one, fell backwards off her chair into the dust whilst victorious, he ran off up a nearby tree. The woman went arse over tit, her legs continuing on until she was now lying on her face. I quickly went over to her to assist but she'd already rolled over and was in the process of getting to her feet. I righted the chair and she sat down again. Her immediate reaction was to blame the member of staff who had brought her the bag. I "mentioned" that probably, and knowing as you do that it is instinctual for them to thieve the food, violently if necessary, that instead of leaving it on the table it would have been safer for her to hide it away in her rucksack at her feet and, like I do when they are around, keep hold of the straps or wear it. Anyway, I have my doubts the baboon homed in on the bag because he knew it was food. He couldn't smell it or see it. In the local village and nearby, blue plastic bags are rampant and generally do contain food of one sort or another. He associated the bag with food, if you see what I mean. The bag was the trigger, not the food.
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:25:40 GMT 2
I went for a walk. Not only does the camp have tents, it also has these chalets and other rooms if you want something more secure. This is one that is in the grounds and has two bedrooms downstairs and one up – Elephants everywhere. I better watch my step – Carrying on – If you want your roof thatching, I know where you can get some –
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:27:24 GMT 2
On one of the days I went locally for lunch. A place on the outskirts of the nearest village – The choice was limited, which is an understatement. I expected this though. The choice was chicken and nshima, or nothing. I chose the chicken – And the nshima – The chicken is grilled/barbequed/braai'd, whatever your terminology is, and often has as much meat on it as my left eyeball. I think they save the good bits for themselves usually. The green stuff is, well, green stuff, usually a plant leaf called rape (not oil seed rape) and is mixed with a little of whatever they have to hand. The tomato sauce is unusual in that somehow they manage to take the taste of tomato out of it. The nshima/nsima, is as I've mentioned it before and in case you missed it, maize flour and water and goes by a plethora of different names around east/southern Africa. The whole thing, as evidenced by the number of usually served condiments, is tasteless but filling. The best thing is the chicken skin. Nope, I still do not have anything even close to a love affair with Zambian food. So much so in fact that I probably won't try it again, nor mention it unless I have something that does have some taste. It's a bit like having food served in kit form where you tailor it, with the condiments, to your requirements. Cost was about $3 usd –
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:28:29 GMT 2
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:30:13 GMT 2
To make matters even worse. I took some video! It's just like watching the holiday movies of the next door neighbour you don't really like but are being polite. Poor quality as it was from my camera, but it'll give you the idea. Over a couple of days I took some short films and have strung it together for your delight.
I'll title this piece, "Spot the W a n k e r" or, "How to be totally boring as a guide by mentioning you know some "really rich people in England" and then proceed to tell how they are buying up their village etc." (As a disclaimer, the 'guide', if that is what he is, is not part of the camp and just brought his victims round for lunch) You will also spot my heavy breathing due to a severely blocked nose and my dulcet tones exclaiming that we are more scared than the elephants are as I retreat courageously behind a wall.
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 17:31:17 GMT 2
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Post by shrjeff on Jun 11, 2017 18:12:13 GMT 2
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Post by auntieannie on Jun 11, 2017 19:01:07 GMT 2
Nshima look like a rough wet version of idli. (mmmh idli) love your ephelant pics (in particular) and the witty commentary.
This is so foreign to me, still, after several reports of yours, the words just don't come.
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 11, 2017 22:04:02 GMT 2
There are several online dictionaries available. Nshima - think not really idli but more like what in the UK we would call ground rice, i.e. a coarse ground rice flour. Water is then added to form a thick paste. Or rather, water is boiled and the maize flour is added bit by bit until the right consistency is reached as it is vigorously stirred. Stirring is an art form and requires a lot of effort, the skills being one of the first shown to daughters by their mother. If you can't make it well and it turns out lumpy/poorly mixed and not the right consistency, they say you will make a poor wife. A good wife in everything is known by the phrase, "She makes good nshima".
jeff, that's one of those Emo - ji things isn't it. When I work out what it means I'll get back to you.
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Post by sophie on Jun 11, 2017 23:13:32 GMT 2
Love the pictures and the commentary...always leaves me with a) wanting more and b) wanting to buy a plane ticket ASAP.
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Post by shrjeff on Jun 12, 2017 4:31:30 GMT 2
so it's basically a variation on polenta but with finer ground corn and no butter and cheese for flavor...
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 12, 2017 8:56:23 GMT 2
Yes, that's right. Nor salt/pepper or anything.
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Post by auntieannie on Jun 12, 2017 9:27:39 GMT 2
how poor must they have been to have only this to eat, mostly? You know, over the centuries? to not have found the time/energy/occasion to make it better?
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Post by slowcoach on Jun 12, 2017 10:02:31 GMT 2
Staples foods tend to be like that: bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, etc..
I recall rather a lot food in the UK being rather similar until foreign food restaurants (Chinese, Indian, etc.) took off.
I also recall eating lunch in Milan and the pasta was almost alone and lots of it.
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Post by Netsuke on Jun 15, 2017 23:34:25 GMT 2
Another great time. Thanks Mark, I do enjoy your musings, I feel like I'm there with you enjoying it. The surroundings look so idyllic, though I expect they aren't. Love the elephants and your light-hearted commentary. I notice the elephants came right into the camp. Does everyone spring for cover and safety when this happens? The dead blue snake would make a lovely belt. Beautiful colour.
Is it possible I wonder, to improve the taste of Nshima? The locals may be used to it, but what do visitors/tourists think and do?
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 16, 2017 7:31:13 GMT 2
When the elephants enter the camp there are usually a guard or two for this purpose who then warns those nearby. Word soon spreads round. Visitors and tourists wouldn't make nshima so they probably on have it in a hotel or restaurant. I doubt they have it often and probably do like I do and add a load of salt/prepper once they realise how bland it is. I can't say I know of any expats who eat it out of choice. Due to circumstances and unfortunately for me I've had to have it for lunch for the last few days.
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Post by auntieannie on Jun 16, 2017 16:57:45 GMT 2
what I was thinking is that herbs, spices and salt have been used in kitchens that use them to preserve meats and keep vermin at bay long before people thought they tasted nice with the food. and I know the world is really well "engineered" to provide nearly all we may need locally... if you know where to look... so it seems to me it is a mystery that they would NOT use local herbs there.
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Post by OnlyMark on Jun 16, 2017 17:40:12 GMT 2
For whatever reason, and I don't really know why so far but I'm still looking, herbs and spices play almost no role in the traditional food here.
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Post by Scrubb on Jun 19, 2017 23:45:24 GMT 2
Well, this has just reinforced my feeling that we MUST get back to sub-Saharan Africa this year!
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Post by tiltedflipcurves on Jun 22, 2017 20:56:19 GMT 2
I guess the blandness of Zambian cuisine fits with the general rule that low-elevation cultures use more spices. for the food preservation reasons referenced by Annie. But you'd think more of the wonders of the India-Zanzibar trade route would have penetrated there over the recent centuries.
I wonder if one could persuade that lodge to fry its nshima; fried polenta is yummy. Or do some of the wonderful things that Mexican cuisine does with masa, or low-country southern does with grits.
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Post by slowcoach on Jun 23, 2017 12:43:00 GMT 2
what I was thinking is that herbs, spices and salt have been used in kitchens that use them to preserve meats and keep vermin at bay long before people thought they tasted nice with the food. Interested in hearing about spices used extensively for preserving meat as opposed to flavouring preserved meat, particularly spices imported into Europe. FWIW Much was put into UK school books regarding spices and tainted meat which may constitute an early Urban Myth.
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Post by auntieannie on Jun 23, 2017 12:59:08 GMT 2
well, I'm talking of locally available herbs/spices.
Like here, a very dry area, we put a mixture of herbs and salt around the pieces of beef we air-dry. the locals are very carnivorous. some will complain if there is a couple salad leaves on their plates beside their steak. they would not have put it there for flavour. There is scientific evidence of the anti-bacterial properties of practically all cooking herbs. and I am sure I read or saw something about how herbs were added to barrels of foods to be preserved. Maybe in this case to also repel the vermin that might have otherwise been interested in infesting the food reserves.
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